A sudden burst of light caught the corner of her eyes, shifting away and taking her eyes with it. She had been on the bus for hours, half asleep and pressed up against the sticky glass that passed as a window. She blinked slowly, feeling the muscles in her face protesting the movement- but the bus was stopped in the downtown district of some city that Caitlin didn't really know- nor care- the name of. She had passed through countless cities now. The bus took its time winding over the great expanse of pavement that was Uncle's Sam's and Lady Liberty's.
The light flashed again, just a small explosion. As if the sun light was flirting with something, throwing tokens and treats in the hope of winning it's attention. She twisted her face to the front of the vehicle, looking the for the source. The traffic jam had lasted over an hour already due to some sort of marathon which had turned the main arteries of the city to clogged veins- sluggish and pumping clots into the connecting streets- heating and smoking like dragons in the heat of a southern summer.
The bus moved forward a half a inch before settling back down with a grumbling moan, its heavy load of some seventy people obviously more than the old dragon wanted to bear. She yawned, wide and stretching let it sink down into her chest and nuzzled back up to the heated plastic. Her legs were cramped, crossed over each other and dangling but she had no other option. If she wanted to doze on a Greyhound bus, she had learned that she had to hide her things well. She had her purse tucked into her side, between herself and the paneling of the bus wall. She had learned that trick the first day when the chatting amiable grandpa next to her had tried to relieve her of it within the first thirty minutes of her nap.
That was another thing about the bus, Caitlin thought grimly, never trust anyone. Perhaps that was more true of life than the bus itself but...
Another flash caught her half lidded eyes. They lifted, curiosity winning over exhaustion and Caitlin saw what she had missed before. The source of the bursts was not a glass or metal shining in the afternoon sun but a trash bag, shiny and black some six feet up in the hair and balanced periouscly on the head of a tall black man who was standing on the sidewalk.
He was staring into the flower bed of the huge state building that was sprawled out on the side of the road- staring but not seeing. Caitlin took in his tattered grey and navy clothes and unshaved face without meaning to and then flicked up to the bag perched on his head. She almost failed to notice the white hard hat that was between his head and the bag itself.
She had noticed a construction site a couple of miles back, right as the bus has began to apply its brakes as it hit the congested city. It was probable that that the man had gotten the hat from there. Men left things behind all the time and one man's hat was another man's bag holder.
The chuckle slipped out before she could catch it- she felt the blob beside her twist to look at her but she kept her face tilted towards her bag man. He had yet to move. Much like the bus.
For a long moment, Caitlin just stared.
And then the bus lurched forward and he slide back out of view as her seat wiped him from view. She twisted a bit, trying to look out the window behind her but the only view that achieved was the suspicious glare of the seat kicker that had been sitting behind her since Texas. She avoided his gaze and turned back around- aware her seat mate was staring at her as well now.
Let them stare, she thought. But she didn't go back to sleep. She watched the buildings ease by as the bus started it's massive turn into the waiting arms of the station.
She had an hour, she glanced down at the watch that had traveled the miles with her. It's scratched face winked up at her as she did the mental math. She would have about three hours before the bus left for Florida.
Or she could stop riding and start going somewhere.
The thought was as sudden as it was sharp and Caitlin felt her eyes flicker back up to the window. The bus pulled alongside its fellow mammoths, sun winking off black and grey surfaces in the courtyard and off the glass windows of the terminal. Caitlin felt the Blob start to shift eagerly in their seat and she turned to look at the bus interior. Faces swam before her as people began to gather their things, shaking off the lethargy and antipathy of the traveling. The chit that had the blank face and moon eyes by the bathroom was now a laughing and vibrating woman who was shaking her hair out of its ponytail and applying lip gloss, eagerly ducking her head to peek out the window. Even the Blob was no longer quiet as big as they had seemed on the long bus ride but simply present in the growing din of the bus.
Caitlin's eye caught a familiar sheen when a passenger dragged a trash bag from the overhead rack- slinging it over their shoulder as they stood to exit the bus. Her simple overnight bag was underneath the bus, filled with tshirts, sweat pants, socks, underwear and a few photos that she had not trusted to keep in her purse in case it got snatched.
She wondered how she would look walking down the street with the black bag perched atop her head- all her worldly possessions balanced, leaving her hands free and her head held tall. They would call her crazy, point and laugh, take pictures and shake their head in amusement.
They wouldn't understand what she was starting to.
That perhaps it wasn't all about balancing your life with moving forward- unafraid to drop everything and pick up and go as she had been doing. Perhaps, thought Caitlin as she stood to exit the bus, the Blob courtlesly holding the line for her- perhaps it was more about stopping and actually seeing past what it is youre looking at- with open mind, close mouth, and nothing hanging over your head.
Just balanced, waiting for the next step forward.
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