“Theater to your left, sir,” David nodded his understanding to the half asleep drone that was currently pretending to take tickets. The watch on his wrist reflected a neon sign advertising popcorn as David neared his theater. It was the last showing of the particular movie and David had picked the late night show as to avoid any…embarrassment.
Shuffling towards Theatre 14, David glanced over his shoulder before he darted towards the single door. The electronic sign above the door flashed at him as he went underneath it, the green words mocking him as he stole into the dark hallway beyond the portal.
It wasn’t as if it was a crime, David thought to himself as he continued down the hallway. He glanced down at his watch, the back light showing him he had a good ten minutes until the previews began. He had considered getting popcorn but had thought better of it. After all, his doctor had advised him against salts and butter. He had a feeling movie popcorn was vastly different from the popcorn his sister-in-law made for her health conscious family.
As David rounded the corner, he breathed a small sigh of relief. The entire movie theatre was dim, dirty, but definitely empty. He flicked his eyes up to the screen where a local car dealer was advertising before turning back to the seats. He started up the stairs, picking his desired spot. He always preferred higher in the back, slightly off center right.
Avoiding the soda spill in the middle of the aisle, David brushed off the crumbs that still clung resolutely to his chosen perch before seating himself. His watch reflected he had seven minutes to go and he settled back to face the screen. The car dealer was loudly promoting his used cars (“NO CREDIT? NO PROBLEM!) when another figure enter the theater.
David stared straight ahead the screen. He kept his eyes fixed, watching as the car dealer commercial switched to a soft drink commercial hoping they wouldn’t notice him. He glanced back at the figure for a second, noticing it was a male who had a large bucket of popcorn and an even larger drink in his hand, climbing up the stairs, ignorant of David watching him. However, as if he felt the stare, the figure looked up and caught his eye. David’s eyes flew back to the screen, his face went blank and he became involved in the commercial once again.
As he started to relax, David suddenly heard a soft shuffling growing louder. Instinctively, he looked up and found the stranger was sidling down his aisle. David turned back towards the screen, waiting for the inevitable. The stranger would pick the middle seat and settle in and both parties could continue to pretend that the other one didn’t exist.
So, when the man plopped down in the seat directly beside David, he almost jumped out of his chair.
He took in a deep breath as his back straightened and his jaw tightened. He risked a small sideways glance out of the corner of his eye, expecting the stranger to realize he was not his friend at any moment.
It was rather disconcerting to find the stranger smiling broadly at him, as he placed his bucket size soda in the shared armrest between them. David kept his elbow resolutely on the dividend and twisted slightly so his knees faced away from the silently grinning man who had made himself at home in David’s aisle.
“Don’t you just hate that movies have commercials now?”
Uneasily, David flicked his eyes from the screen to the corner of his eye before placing them back on the screen. He stayed silent.
“I mean, I remember the days when news would be play or cartoons or even stupid trivia, but god, commercials?” David cleared his throat slightly in a noncommittal response and kept his eyes fixed firmly ahead. The voice continued, unaware. “I mean, fuck, who goes to the movies to see commercials? Am I right?”
This last question was combined with a sharp dig to the side and David jerked, startled. He found himself staring at a man that was close to his own age and who was happily crunching on a handful of popcorn. David’s annoyance was increasing the tension in his jaw. He nodded curtly and began to turn back.
“You here by yourself?” The voice interrupted again, the sound of popcorn being chewed immediately following. David gave one shorter nod, wondering if he should go to the bathroom and wait until the feature started before reentering.
“Yea me too, no one wanted to go see this with me. Can’t imagine why!”
Clearly amused by his own joke, the invader bent over and slapped his knee, laughing loudly. “But here I find the only other person at the movie is another thirty something year old guy!” The laughter died suddenly. “You’re not gay, are you?”
David felt a hot warmth flood his cheeks and he opened his mouth before he realized it. “Missed the movie I wanted to see,” he found himself saying. He cleared his throat and felt his fingers clench his knee. The screen was now asking the patrons to turn off cell phones but it was in no hurry to start the film. His elbow was still resting on the armrest and he felt the stranger’s bump into his as he rearranged himself.
“Yea, that’s what I told the kid at the ticket stand,” he laughed again, and David ground his teeth. “If anyone ever finds out I came to see The Rose Unicorn by myself, they’d die laughing!”
David’s flush crept down his neck and he avoided the itch to stand up. He had been here first after all and it was no business of this loon to come sit by him and start chatting him up. The idiot had an entire movie theatre to choose from and he sat right next to the only other person in the theater! Who did that?
“My mom used to read this to me every night when I was growing up. I was psyched when I heard they were making a movie but a grown man going to see a cartoon about a unicorn princess- that’s just about the gayest thing ever, isn’t it?”
Even as the movie lights began to dim, the stranger continued to speak. David felt him jostle his arm as he placed his full arm on the chair rest and grasp his super sized beverage. David felt a red haze descend over him as he felt the heat from the man’s skin on his own. His early thoughts of moving flew out of his head. It was his seat and his arm rest and the damn lunatic better move before he killed him. The previews started up and the sound began to reverberate in his skull but the man continued to chat to himself.
“I mean, I didn’t expect to see another grown man here alone on a Thursday night! What are the odds of that?” The man bent his legs into a figure four and leaned back in his chair, his foot now almost brushing David’s jeans. He felt his throat tighten but tried to keep his focus on the action comedy that was currently running rampant on the screen. He felt the back of his neck tingle in hyper awareness of the situation and briefly considered the threat level of the idiot next to him.
“And dude, believe me when I say I’m not gay, I mean I love the ladies-“
No, not a threat. Just an idiot. An idiot who was ignoring his personal space with a heady abandon that was making David squirm. He was not a violent man. He was a quiet English teacher who had read The Rose Unicorn to his students so many times over the years that he had it memorized. He had simply wanted to spend a quiet night relaxing away from his apartment with the dinner tray in front of the TV and the sound of the aquarium’s filter a constant reminder of his private life. He was not a violent or angry man but something about this stranger was pressing him the wrong way.
“But hey, man, whatever floats your boat!” And that skinny elbow once again found itself sticking in David’s side. Something loud and metallic snapped in David’s head and he found himself standing suddenly, looming over the obnoxious ignoramus beside him.
“Stop touching me!” He thundered- his breathing heavy and his eyes narrowed. The light from the movie projector washed over David’s dark hair and he watched as the man beside him slowly wilted in front of him, his foot coming down from its perch on his knee and his back pressing back down into his seat. His eyes went large and round as he stared up at David.
The man glanced down and away towards the soda spill and suddenly David felt foolish. He sat back down slowly, expecting the stranger to get up and move away. However, he realized that the armrest was now vacant and the man had seemed to collapse in on himself, seeming smaller and more childlike than David would have thought possible moments before.
The next preview ended, the green screen advertising a parental guidance warning flashed on and David felt his breathing find its natural cadence again. The tension was still palpable in the air but David no longer felt threatened by the presence next to him, just annoyed. He turned his head slightly and found the man was idly playing with his straw, his eyes darting from the screen to a seat a few rows away. David cleared his throat.
“You can sit there, but don’t talk. And if you put your elbow up on the rest one more time, I’ll dump your popcorn over your head, understand?”
A slight nod was his only response and David returned his attention back to the screen. It was slightly unnerving to have a stranger sitting so close to him but his terms had seemed to be understood and accepted. If the weirdo wanted to sit next to someone, that was fine. But he would be quiet about it.
“Sorry, man,” came the soft response as the movie finally began to roll. David glanced over and saw large brown eyes staring back at him, and for a moment he wondered who the man was and what his story was that brought him to a child’s cartoon’s last showing. All the possibilities of him being deranged or dangerous were no longer as substantial as they were moments ago and David nodded his acceptance. A golden unicorn pranced across the screen and the large horn gleamed in the starlit sky as The Rose Unicorn began. David tried to keep his face carefully blank but couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his lips as the story began to unfold. The genuine laughter next to him was slightly annoying but David could deal with that.
As long as he wasn’t fighting for the arm rest.
No comments:
Post a Comment