Thursday, January 13, 2011

354- I am not a Pisces

         Congratulations Minnesota Planetarium Society Astronomers. 
You've just rocked the proverbial shuttle. 
       
        Due the moon's gravitation pull on Earth, the MPSAs have dedueced that the alignment of the stars was pushed by a month.So, basically everything I thought about myself is false.

        Oh and as I see you rolling your eyes, let me clarify. The stars and the moon affect the tide, right?

       So, what's not to say that the position of the stars and the moon can play a role in conception dates and therefore rough birth dates? Simply, humans are composed mainly of water, heavenly bodies (not god and the angels- they're more involved in genetics than personality: see nature vs. nurture) have influence over water. ERGO.

      Now, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being a Pisces. But there are certain things a person should know in their lifetime: their ring size, serious allergies, how to change a tire, at least one Shakespeare quote (me thinks the lady doth protest too much- or out! out! damn spot! or---), and their sign.

    Up till twelve hours ago, I was living life as a Aries born in the year of the Dragon.And then, just like that. I was a pair of fish swimming in a circle- yin and yang and all sorts of calm and peaceful....

In the scientific attitude of MSPA, I took a scientific, analytical view of the two signs and put them in a SUDDEN DEATH BATTLE: FISH vs. RAM





Piscean Arian





Planet
Neptune
Mars





Animal
Fish
Ram





Color
Sea Green
Red





Star Stone
Moon Stone Diamond





Element
Water
Fire





Quality
Mutable
Cardinal





Energy
Feminine
Masculine 



Friendships:

Apparently the Fish have a bad tenancy to be attracted to people with severe problems. The Fish attempt to help as much as they can, sometimes even taking the entire problem as their own and losing their identity in this process.

Aries tend to be very protective and caring of their friends when necessary and encouraging them as often as needed.

Point: Fish- I am forever guilty of the being attracted to people who have a few issues. I want to help and solve problems and sometimes lose sight of the reality of the situation and my place in it.

Example: Someone's stealing your newspaper. Not only do I rail at the injustice of it for weeks and try and get you to wake up and watch for that person- I stay up all night and booby trap your lawn for the sick pervert who is stealing your papers. When it turns out to be a girl scout leader, I just bagged you free cookies for a year. Or got arrested for harmful endangerment.


Career:
The Fish are highly creative but dislike rejection and tend to stay out of sight and out of mind in career situations.
Aries are activists that like to take risks to follow thier dreams. However, if there is no immediate sucesss, Aries will lose interest and go on to the next project.

Point: Ram- I always want to be growing and evolving and helping the people I'm working with to also attain this goal.

Example: See Peabody Hotel or how I quit a steady job to take a risk in the hospitality and field and ended up checking people in and out for six months and had every single idea flushed down the proverbial toilet. Pants?? Women don't wear pants you silly thing- go put your skirt back on. And the two weeks notice that invariably followed.

Sex:
Fish tend to love to role play and be the seducer.
Rams are physical, quick and rough and dominating.

Point: Tie

Example: School Girl Outfit + Dresser+ Man = ....

Postive Aspects:
The swimmers are compassionate, adaptable, and accepting and imaginative.
The rams are independent, generous, optimistic, enthusastic, and courageous.

Point: Ram-
 It comes down to accepting and adaptable versus enthusiastic and independent thing.I love working with people but if you have a stupid idea I am going tot tell you- but using highly imaginative and optimist word choices.

Example: Okay, Mr. Richards, I understand you're the professor. However, I am not going to do perform the Hopi traditional courtship dance for this project. You dress in drag and do the hula and call it a researched entry into social para norms in Hawaii subculture and see how you feel about public embarrassment.

Negative Aspects:
Fish are oversensitive, indecisive, self pitying and lazy.
Rams are moody, short tempered, self involved, impatient.

Point: Ram- Oversensitive is basically the same as moody in my book and I'm not very indecisive as much as impatient. And while I am lazy, I tend to be very self involved...and self pitying but mostly impatient.

Example: If you have ever cleaned with me, you know I will throw everything out. Everything must go. Get moving or I'll throw you out too.


Blanket Statement
Fish  are molded by their surroundings and go with their gut feelings.
Rams are horrible liars which people can always see straight through.

Point: Ram

Example: I cannot get away with anything to save my life. You can tell I'm lying before I even get it completely out of my mouth....


Well, I think it's pretty clear that.
-Wait...-
Astrology in the United States is basically fixated on a Tropical Zodiac and the new study is on a Sidereal Zodiac...
Therefore nothing has actually changed....
 

According to astrologers and astronomers, the Tropical Zodiac is fixed to seasons and which Western astrology is based on. The Sidereal Zodiac is fixed to the constellations themselves and is more Eastern based. The seasons are a fixed point and are therefore the more stable and balanced Zodiac to follow and report.

     So, I can still breath easy when I check my horoscope at work and figure the answer that is coming through group effort is the what to eat for lunch today- oh, they ate all the spaghetti....is chicken fingers. 

         And while I don't have to take my Zodiac too seriously, I will have it on hand as well as my Magic 8 ball so I will know the answer when a good looking Leo man sets his sights on me at the bar, saunters over and growls, "What's your sign?"
Aries, baby, pure Aries.

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